Confessions from a confused soul!

Well, life has a very interesting way of showing you that you need to develop and change. I have felt that for quite some time, and am not so sure how to go about it, or what direction I need to take. My life has been so structured for so long, school, mission, school... you know you have an end goal, to graduate, to help someone find the gospel... etc. But right now I feel somewhat goal-less, and lost. My life doesn't seem to have the same energy or excitement that is used to. I'm not completely sure that is a bad thing... but I feel like I lost a bit of me that makes me me. I am not sure that makes any sense, but oh well.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to hang out with a few mission friends, and for a second I was really nervous at the idea of being around them. Who was I when I was with them... was "Sister Jagger" the same as Sarah now... not really. I am not so sure what was different, but I feel different, and not sure how to interact with these people. So I found myself being quiet and just listening to conversations rather than adding to them. Watching these individuals who have successfully adapted to post mission life and who seem to know who they are, and have good goals.

I seem to have turned into an anti-social human being. I'm not sure why. I don't seem to want to be involved with my ward, or get to know new people... which is odd... that has always been one of my strengths. I really feel the need to grow and develop... gah I'm annoyed. But on a funny note I have been asked to give a talk this Sunday on "Overcoming Trials" and as I have been studying and preparing I see how I can get back on the band wagon of progressing as a human being.

I love how the Lord will give you a much needed slap if you don't listen to His quieter nudgings. It shows me that He cares and loves me, and knows how to get my attention! Oh man I love the gospel. It's amazing, and so true!!!!

Ok, sorry for the randomness of my mind. But thanks for listening!