WARNING: This blog entry will be a bit whiny, and for that I apologize, but I just feel like I need to get it all out, and hopefully gain wisdom from comments of people I love. Or just thoughts of support or insight or argument on another point.
So very very soon my life is going to change, in a big way. I'm going to be quitting my job, moving out of the country, start school for my MA... so basically it's going to be a grand adventure. But why am I so scared?
For one, I haven't saved properly for leaving. I'm going to be relying heavily, if not solely, on financial aid. I'm poor enough already, do I want to be MORE in debt.
Two, the degree I'm going into (European Theatre) isn't all that bankable. I mean yes, it's in theatre, which I love, but I will still have to come back and get my PhD if I want to teach college. And that's a big if.
Three, I'm scared of failure. I'm scared I'll never "grow up" and decide what I want to do with my life.
Plus there are so many things still left to do before I even get to England.
-Student Visa
-Housing
-Schedule
-Save Money
-Sell Angus
-Move all my crap
The only thing really keeping me grounded is that I WANT to do this. I live for adventures, and the safe and boring life I've been living the past two years (since leaving the Ydaho) have been slowly sucking the life out of me. I feel alone, and isolated, and I don't like it.
My mind is chaos, and sadness right now. Again, I'm sorry for being a debbie downer, I just didn't know how to get all of this out of my system. Thank you for reading, or listening to this.
THE END
