Alright, I have to confess something kind of embarrassing. I am deathly afraid of snails and slugs. I don't know what it is, and I don't know when this phobia started. But it's real and is makes no sense, but anywhoo it's true.
Well this weekend I almost packed up all my belongings and told Cherie that we needed to find somewhere else to live, because they started an all out war against me.
Saturday I was minding my own business, heading home from work when one started crossing my path from the car to the house, and another one was on the top step watching me head home. Now usually this would have stopped me dead in my tracks and started me screaming... but I was okay, they were small and more than 5 feet away from me. But this was only the beginning. Sunday Kari and I were heading to church and two more were greeting us by our doorstep. One was on the outside wall right by the doorknob!!!!!!!!! I screamed, almost vomited and sprinted towards the car.. only to be halted when another one was on the steps I needed to go on. I screamed again, and this time I tasted a little vomit in my mouth, and I was getting dizzy. I am not joking... I know it's ridiculous, but it's true... it happened!
And I am not the type of girl that gets scared easily... but snails are my arch nemeses. And so tonight I plan on making a salt ring around my apartment so that they can't come in and try to kill me in my sleep. You think I'm joking, but I am totally serious.
Anyway I thought you all might enjoy my crazy fear. Oh and I was safe yesterday and today, I haven't seen a one. But I'm pretty sure I am going to start carrying salt in my bag. Or I need to move to some place where snails cannot live.
2 comments:
I forgot about this! I always hated snails when I was younger, because of 2 things:
1) I always ran around outside barefoot year-round, because in the Bay Area you can. And inevitably, I would step on a snail in my bare feet, and the thought alone to this day makes me cringe. There's a duel evil there...the grossness of snail guts and the pain of shell cuts. *shudder*
2) I accidentally/clandestinely watched part of a program called "The Nature of Sex" and learned that when snails mate, the male basically spears the female, and then goes away, leaving her with his detached member embedded in her neck. Anything about sex is disturbing and confusing when you're 7, so that gave me nightmares for weeks.
I send you salt blessings of protection and safety.
I have always really wanted to see a snail and I never have. This is very unfair because my family calls me "snail" I think I should be entitled to a snail sighting...
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